by imman » Fri May 08, 2009 10:21 am
In the mid 1970's, I was about 4 years old and we had no telly due to the local topography making reception very poor, so the concept of aliens was outside of my experience. Also mum and dad were and still are extremely modest, I had never seen any adult nakedness. So when I started drawing spindly creatures probing terrified, naked and paralyzed men and women with needles, up their noses, in their armpits, navels, thighs, breasts and testicles my mother had a total fit, and threw my little drawing book on the fire.
I tried to tell her at the time that she had to tell people and get it stopped, but she said that I was never to tell anyone because people would think that "mummy and daddy were abusing you" and that I would be taken away. The message sank in, I had no intentions of getting my beloved parents into trouble and there was no such thing as aliens. I must have pushed the memory way down deep because it didn't come back until I was about 19, when a bunch of friends goaded me into watching an alien movie. I'd always made a big thing about not watching alien movies. It all came flooding back before the movie ended, Communion it was called and what freaked me out the most was that unlike ET, I had seen the creatures which were portrayed in this film. Once the dam was unblocked it all came flooding back and to be honest I didn't know what to do with it. My pals didn't know what to make of me either, was I attention seeking or mentally unbalanced? My family still treat this episode of my life with bemused and skeptical silence, which is extremely irritating for me.
In fact the other day, my mother told me that she often wondered if my dad hadn't sexually abused me as a child as a result of this story, talk about layering on the guilt, they divorced about a decade ago.
I wasn't abducted, I was what they call contacted, I was shown the hybrid breeding program in operation and didn't need told that it was wrong, it was obvious. The insecty Greys were like the living dead, they were oblivious to my presence, completely engrossed in probing their subjects. I wasn't afraid because I knew I was safe but one of the females, a pretty lady with long, dark hair saw me and was horrified for me. She was naked and paralyzed, but conscious, on one of those slabs, for a moment she could see past one of the Greys and was trying to scream to me to run, I can still see her saucer-like, panic stricken eyes to this day and I regret not being able to help her at the time, but there was nothing I could do, I was merely there to witness.
It all began with being lifted out of bed one night, the chill woke me slightly but I stayed asleep and felt very safe, then I remember being put back into a cold bed. The next morning I dressed myself and went down for breakfast, mum was up, dad had left for work and I asked why I'd been lifted out of bed in the night but mum said that I must have dreamt it. The next night the same thing happened, and this time I opened my eyes a little to see who it was, but it wasn't a person, it was some kind of wookie type creature with sharp teeth and a pug nose and lots of shaggy hair and it seemed to be adoring me. I began to panic inwardly, but a calm male voice told me not to alarm the creature because it was easily spooked and "they" didn't want me to come to any harm. So I pretended to be asleep again, but this time I remembered being carried into the corner of my bedroom and transported somewhere.
In the morning I searched the corner of my room for a secret passageway but there was only tongue-in-groove paneling as usual, nothing out of the ordinary. The next night again I was lifted out of my bed, by the same creature and summarily placed back into my now cold bed, so I knew that I'd been away for enough time for the bed to cool down even if I was quite warm. The drawings started after this, as a 4 year old it was not easy to express what I'd learned from this contact, the ability to construct analogous records is not inherent in such a young mind, but some memories are intact.
On one of the nights I was shown the hybrid breeding program and what I know today to be some type of Grey alien. During this time I was chaperoned by a human like man, with blond hair, who I found easy to understand, I understood that he wasn't from earth or even human like me. He showed me the abductees from some kind of viewing balcony, so I wasn't in the room with them, but that woman could see me so we must have been visible to the Grey's as well even if they ignored us. The room was brightly lit, slightly bluish, the instruments made from a silvery metal and the Grey's were dressed in loose sheet type gowns and the room looked like an operating theatre to me. The abductees were led in naked from another room, they were groggy and semi conscious, and they were made to lie down on very uncomfortable looking slabs, which were raised on some type of adjustable pedestal. Some of the men were screaming. I remember looking up at my chaperone to ask why, but he had no answer only a heavy sadness in his face, but he made me feel safe so I was ok.
On another night, I didn't see the man again, but instead I was chaperoned by a honey coloured and hairless elf like creature, dressed in some kind of gown, all I remember is that it wasn't naked and that it touched me or nudged me along with it's warm, velvety little hands. It was the same size as me, at 4 years of age, so probably about 3 ft tall. It didn't have pointy ears, it had undefined holes instead and large eyes, small nose and slit like mouth but it didn't look misproportioned like the usual images, in fact I really hoped that I could take it home with me forever. It took me past a window, in a circular corridor, through the window I could see earth the size of a beach ball and I couldn't take my eyes off it, the latent power emanating from it was spellbinding. I fully understand why our astronauts all say that seeing earth from space makes you realize just how precious the planet really is. The lovely little creature was in a bit of a hurry and wouldn't let me linger and led me into a room off the other wall of the corridor, into the interior of the craft.
In this room there were bunks set into the wall, just like on a boat except much more modern and comfortable, and instead of a curtain there was a solid shutter which moved transversely, creating a very cozy and private capsule, I lay down and remember having a teddy with me at this point because the little creature patted it into my arm and patted my shoulder and then closed me in. The ceiling of the bunk was a TV screen, it was white like a light box but then images began to play and a very gentle male voice narrated. The show consisted of arial views of where the oceans meet virgin forests, taken from a craft much faster and maneuverable than the usual helicopter. It made earth look so beautiful and huge, miles and miles of unspoiled and deserted coastline were featured. The voice in the meanwhile was repeating the same thing over and over in slightly different ways. "This is your world, it is good. This world belongs to you, love it, it is good." etc.
I know that I was told other things and introduced to other human like beings, but those memories are blurry and perhaps one day I'll make sense of them, I was aware of other children undergoing the same kind of instruction, but very few in comparison to the amount of abductees. As I've grown older (nearing 40 now!), the wisdom of making me see the world not as a collection of people but as a homogeneous entity whose identity and existence is all about the natural world was much needed. We can get so sucked into our societal identity that we think we are the world.
I used to wonder if they would come for my own children, and didn't much like the thought, but they didn't. I feel that they are still out there, watching and that a war has been waged on our behalf by "them" to free us from slavery, a slavery which we are becoming increasingly aware of today. I feel that the hybrid program has been ended, but I have yet to confirm this. The hybrid program only existed over the last few decades and broke Creational Law. It was a desperate attempt by a segment of a species selected for extinction due to their abuse of the Laws to overcome the inevitable physical disintegration.